I can't remember the terms of Chris's overly complex bounty, but Ross did manage to do some permanent damage.
- Connor
Sep. 27th, 2009
Are Dwarves Evil?
Yes, as it turns out. Today the Bolgrath Beserkers did their best to ruin Coach Todd's hopes of breathing new life into his shattered Chaotica.
Essential, Basil Valentine single handedly picked up all the left-over shards and crushed them into a fine mist.
- Connor
July 27th, 2009
Or Was I kidding??
Yep, I was.
- Connor
July 26th, 2009
Screw you Nurgle Sausage Hiders
A severe casualty to Thomas Aquinas was only the start of the horror show that awaited the Bolgrath Beserkers this night. A more nimble and destructive bunch of rotting creeps, you did never see!
- Connor
June 10th, 2009
Season's Predictions
Mighty Dwarven Seer Sacromendal makes the following predictions for this season's final standings: 1. Fleshtrailers 2. Ms. Consin's Dodgers 3. Bolgrath Beserkers 4. Desenascano
- Connor
June 3rd, 2009
Farewell Lebowski!
In a fairly light hitting match one hit stood out. Early in the first half Olympiadorus took his chance and fouled The Big Lebowski to Death!
Having rescued Smokin' Joe from a similar fate earlier in the half Coach Todd had no option but to bury Lebowski permanently.
- Connor
May 6th, 2009
Congratulations Basil Valentine
After toiling in obscurity throughout the mithral spike Basil completed a dwarven record of 4 casualties in his first match of the season (matching the entire previous season's achievement). Thanks Desenascano!
Many of the casualties were due to the apparent suicidal nature of the team's goblin component. They came running at our dwarven blockers with knives bristling from chest and limb - however, in what must have been some sort of oversight, most of the blades were pointed in.
- Connor
Feb. 27th, 2009
Curse of the Babes
We curse you o' babes of beer. Your recuperative powers do naught for us yet turn our opponents fury back 'award us.
Your bosoms by divine for the lookin'. Yer looks should send men to their rest, yet here they be - ready to give us another test.
We curse you o' babes of beer. May yer bikinis turn to be but a rag; may your fine titties and buttocks sag.
- Connor
Feb. 20th, 2009
Name Change?
After pillow-pushing the FFG around for 4 drives (15+ KOs and 2 Cas) the Bolgrath Beserkers are considering changing their names to something more appropriate. Perhaps 'The Pillow Faries', 'Captain Phonebook Baseball Bat', or 'It's Nappy Time'.
- Connor
Feb. 13th, 2009
Harvest of Bounty
As Coach of the fearsome Bolgrath Beserkers I have seen fit to investing of hard earned cash in putting down a leprous beast.
The half-minotaur half-mutated wretch known as The Big Lebowski has lived on this cursed earth for too long. We must put the foul beast outta it's misery.
When the job is done expect more commissions for worthy assassins.
- Connor
Feb. 6th, 2009
Now with 33% Less Goals!
Well froggies, I hope I don't see ya in the finals. Yer flippin' and flappin' be no good for this dwarven gullet - but, we'll take yer gold for the win. Too bad wassisname didn't croak - coulda used his gold too.
- Connor
Jan. 22nd, 2009
Marauders Eat Dirt
Bedazzled, the fabled Middenheim Marauders gave up a 2-0 loss to the Beserkers. Their wrestlers and standfirm blitzers could not withstand the tide of dwarven iron.
I rolled by first 2d6 = 12 of the season!
- Connor
Jan. 21st, 2009
LoA Win Unjust
Bewildered by the game results - the news reported the Beserkers left the field with a full half hour on the clock! Ruining their 2-0 lead.
Days later the Bolgrath Beserker realize that the Ref who 'called the game on account of rain' had actually been an avid LoA fan.
Basil Valentine was quoted as saying "We're gonna blarney the cuss bags offa those chortled mug-quacks" - your guess is as good as mine folks.
- Connor
Jan. 9th, 2009
... And Then Stepping on it.
While obtaining 6 casualties against the scurilous Scrantonisity - it was not enough to prevent a 2-1 win from the undead.
- Connor
Jan. 8th, 2009
Starting on the Right Foot
Those frogs were tough, but their agressive stance left us little choice but to repay in kind. Luck and skill were with the short this day. No injuries of note - this time.
- Connor
Dec. 15th, 2008
2nd Season Hopes?
After a phenomenal first season (winning the Blood Bowl!!), the Bolgrath Beserkers will be expected to put in a good performance in the Spike.
Previously unknown to team outsiders is just how close the team came to permanent retirement after their one glorious outting. Fortunately some brain cells were knocked back into place before anyone did anything foolish.
