Tonight, the crowd was witness to an unusual display in that Ron Post took out a handgun on the pitch and opened fire! Cheating with weapons is not new to fans of Bloodbowl, but what was new was that he appeared to be aiming at his teammates!
The bullet narrowly missed Mr. Green Eye, grazing his shoulder and embedding itself in the forehead of Got Wood's premiere Wardancer. The Wood Elf Surgeon was occupied tending a bad case of tennis elbow at the time, or there might have been hope for poor Gump.
In the post-match interview, Renaldo had this to say, as the teams official spokesperson. "The tree ones LOVE the brown thing. They make the short ones look like they are asleep. It was confusing for us because the man in the striped shirt would keep interrupting our performance to make us stand in some new places. I do really like how they dance though. We want them to come perform with us once we have the makings of our opera. They dance so well, I was starting to feel like the people weren't there to see us perform but instead were watching the tree ones. But then I realized that that would be ridiculous. Our enchanting rhythms defy genre while simultaneously re-inventing them."
- Ler™
Sep. 28th, 2016
The Loaf Played Solo...
The Loaf had a hell of a match today doing literally everything. A true Leader.
Those annoying Post Bros. Ron Post. and Russ Post. have arrived from Bugtown on a contract kill for The Residents. As mayhem always follows the brothers Post, this will provide more difficulty for The Residents, who are already having trouble with the brown thing and their relationship with it. "One thing is for sure, it can not be allowed to pass that line over there." Mr. Green Eye was quoted as saying post-match.
"I've also noticed that it makes some of the people in the crowd happy when we put down our instruments and pick up the brown thing. They yell and clap and shout. They also like it when we carry the brown thing over that line on the other side of the well manicured local vegetation. It also seemed to make The Loaf happy when they cheered for him."
- Ler™
Sep. 21st, 2016
Short-Short-Long
The Residents have learned many lessons today from the stout ones, principal among them is the importance of sound core strength, a proper bass...
We have also learned a lesson about unity from the little ones that will serve in the future as we learn this method of conducting.
Buster was asked about his newly encountered opponents and was quoted as saying "These ones have no trouble picking up the brown thing. We don't understand why it's important but I've been watching how they pick it up and carry it. They even hurled it through the air a couple of times and I liked that. These ones are so agile and deft at 'passing' I am inspired to try a new interpretive dance next game. Why are you all laughing, of course they are agile!".
- Ler™
Sep. 14th, 2016
Our finest Flowers....
One of the Residents chief collaborators, Renaldo, has achieved a stronger metaphysical understanding of the nature of Time, Blood Bowl and the universe in general. While scoring his second touchdown of the match last night against the Leagues principal musical offenders, Bank Roll Fresh.
Renaldo was heard to utter "The beat.... It goes on without us there to perceive it...." And he then grew 6 inches taller and focused his attention on his pace as he ran back to join the rest of the band, er, squad.
Russ Post.
