A merry tune performed by The Residents before the match sealed their fate. "The Folly of Nuffle" definitely did not shine a positive light on the easily angered god and he showed his displeasure almost immediately. Attempts to dance, dash, push and power their way through the Dwarf line ended with tumbles, trips, stalls and face-plants, much to the delight of The Killer Bees fans.
While The Residents stumbled, The Killer Bees soared. Beauregard Rockgrip vaulted to the top of the throwing ranks, while team Captain and fan favorite B. Bobby Blair continued his scoring dominance, even putting one of the Khemri skeletons out of the game en route to one of his touchdowns!
The rest of the match went in similar fashion, with the well armored and sturdy dwarves resisting all attempts to injure them by the foul-mad Khemri, en route to the 2-1 win!
Next up? A much anticipated rematch with the Woodland Warriors! Stay tuned, sports fans!
- Neil
Oct. 25th, 2016
Vicious Vermin stunned by Killer Bees!
18,000 screaming Vermin fans came to see the laffer predicted by the Blood Bowl pundits. But all the cheers died down the moment the Killer Bees won the coin toss and introduced a late addition to their team...
Morg'N'Thorg!
And the Killer Bee fans went wild!
Lining up behind the dwarf blockers, Morg stood glaring at Terr'r Dorfsnacker. Just as the ball was kicked, his arm raised to silence the crowd, and as B. Bobby Blair caught the kick, Morg dropped his arm and chaos ensued.
A fireball leveled a group of rats, and a bolt of blue light smashed into Dorfsnacker. His howl of pain turned into a pathetic "ribbit", as he was suddenly transformed into a tiny frog! Rat bodies flew in every direction as Morg'N'Thorg cut a swath of destruction through the remaining rats and the dwarves went straight at the transformed Rat Ogre. The blockers shoved the frog towards a waiting Morg, who, with a mighty kick, sent the Froggy Dorfsnacker flying through the uprights at the far end of the stadium, it's flight ending with a wheat thud against the Orcidas billboard.
Almost unseen in the chaos was the carefully planned march up the field orchestrated by team captain B. Bobby Blair. In an unexpected and unprecedented tactic for the Bees, he halted the march a few steps from the end zone, and held the ball until the very end of the half, scoring at the last possible moment.
The Killer Bees had the lead!
After a bit of magic of their own, the Vermin managed to get Dorfsnacker back on the field, but he was far from normal. Refusing the commands of his handlers, he howled and shook his head every time they told him to blitz, becoming an instant liability until he was finally knocked out of the game for good by Blaze Trollburner. The Vermin managed to score during the fray tying the game but without their Rat Ogre, it did not go well for them for the rest of the match.
B. Bobby Blair again controlled the pace, this time charging down field, protected by Morg'N'Thorg, before pausing to acknowledge the Killer Bees faithful, taking precious seconds off the clock and securing a Killer Bees victory!
When coach Bronc Bugsmasher was asked to comment on the match he had this to say.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Which pretty much sums up the reaction of all Killer Bees fans! We beat the best team in the league!
WOOOOOO!
Until next time, Killer Bees fans!
- Neil
Oct. 14th, 2016
Masked fans assault zombie!
With the sunny weather continuing to follow the Killer Bees around, the dwarves swarmed into the stadium of the Undead team, Pig Skins and Bones. Playing on the fancy astro-granite surface, the game promised to be a hard hitting and potentially deadly affair.
Like many promises, this one was broken.
The sun glaring off the polished stone surface of the pitch caused the undead to stumble about more than normal, and the teams' ghouls continually mistook empty beer cans hurled onto the field by the rowdy fans as the ball. The dwarves, however, wearing their trademark sunglasses, had no such issues! After a stunningly short time, Beauregarde Rockgrip hurled the ball downfield to team Captain B. Bobby Blair and the Bees took the lead!
On the next kickoff, the true excitement began. After several hard shoves, Brock Bonfire tried to teach one of the PS&B zombies to crowd surf! But as soon as he was pushed into the crowd, a pair of burly masked dwarves pounced on the zombie, holding him down as a stumpy and like-masked Halfling stomped him into oblivion much to the delight of Killer Bee fans.
Mercifully, before any more bloodshed could be inflicted by the trio of hooligans, B. Bobby Blair scored again, ending the half.
The second half was filled with fireballs, failed dodges and lots and lots of failed attempts to pick-up the ball by PS&B. After one ghoul did pick the ball up, he promptly threw it into the crowed, allowing Beauregard Rockgrip to get a hold of the ball again, and this time he scampered into the end zone for the third and final touchdown of the game.
After the game, when asked about the fans actions, B. Bobby Blair's disgust at the action showed.
"That is not the way true Killer Bee fans act. It's disgusting! That kind of fan can just stay home."
Banjack One-eye had a different opinion.
"Looks like the Masked Halfling is back, and has a couple of trainees with him! Let's hope Tweedlebee and Tweedlebum stick around... I mean, I'm assuming that's their name. I didn't invite them to the game or anything! Hey, get out of my face! Interview over!"
So once more, the Bees failed to hurt anyone, the fans did, and the same two dwarves got all the glory. Next week it will be a far greater challenge as the Bees face the league's top rated team, the Vicious Vermin. Stay tuned Bee fans!
- Neil
Oct. 9th, 2016
Sunglasses stolen!
A theft of the team's custom made sunglasses left the Killer Bees struggling on the pitch today. Despite the heroics of team captain B. Bobby Blair, the sun-blind dwarves were unable to march their way down to the end zone even once today, falling in disappointing fashion to the new chaos team, Heavy Mental.
A new batch of sunglasses has already been ordered and is expected in time for the next match. The team has offered season tickets to anyone who catches and delivers the sunglasses-stealing culprits to them.
Stay tuned, Killer Bee fans!
- Neil
Sep. 27th, 2016
Sunny weather leads Bees to victory!
The Killer Bees christened their new stadium, The Hive, on a beautiful, sunny day against the Tzeentch team of Bank Roll Fre$h.
The sun agreed with the dwarf team, but the Tzeentch were blinded and off balance right out of the gate. Noticing the problem, the dwarves elected to kick the ball away. Stumbling while trying to shield their eyes from the sun, the Tzeentch failed to break the dwarf line in spectacular fashion, while star cultist Goro couldn’t even pick up the ball! The Bees line took full advantage, plowing a hole through the Tzeentch lines, allowing Beauregard Rockgrip to charge up field and recover the ball! A quick pass to team captain B. Bobby Blair saw the Bees swarm out to an early 1-0 lead!
Things got rapidly worse for BRF. With the sun right in his eyes, The Lizard tried to dodge around the Bees hired mercenary, Bruno “Tubby” Blastcap. He ran right into the rotund dwarf’s massive belly, falling face first into the ground so hard he broke his own neck! The sun was so bright, the team apothecary couldn’t find The Lizard on the field to heal him!
The rest of the half was a block-fest, with neither team gaining any real advantage.
The second half saw the Bees take advantage again of the sun-blinded Tzeentch, scoring a quick insurance touchdown after another amazing pass by Bearegard Rockgrip. A real slobber knocker ensued, with the Tzeentch knocking most of the dwarf team to the ground and keeping there for much of the half. Finally, the dwarves managed to get to their feet and returned the favor, slamming into the Tzeentch and preventing them from accomplishing anything until the final whistle blew.
Killer Bees win 2-0!
The win has Bees fans excited for their next match against the Chaos squad of Heavy Mental. Stay tuned Killer Bees fans!
- Neil
Sep. 26th, 2016
The Swarm fails to "Serve" up victory
The Killer Bees turned up to the game hung-over and grumpy from their pregame kegger with the Servants of Morgoth and it showed. At the mere sight of the horrid appearing, smelling and sounding team of Slaanesh, most of the dwarf team was reduced to hurling and wretching, while the rest seemed to simply close their eyes and play by feel to get over their revulsion. Star runner B. Bobby Blair was so affected that he temporarily lost his mind, being unable to act out of sheer shock for the first few minutes of the match.
The first half ended, unsurprisingly, in a 0-0 draw, even though the normally fast paced dwarf team had the ball nearly the whole time!
The second half went much better, at least to start, with the Killer Bees scoring after an ill-timed fumble by Slaanesh player Gorgol resulted in Beauregard Rockgrip sprinting into the end zone for a touchdown. But with mere seconds left, the Slaanesh managed to break the dwarf lines and sprint into the end zone to tie the match. A few blocks and tackles later and the game mercifully ended.
The ritual of having a pre-match kegger has been cancelled by the owners, who have replaced it with a post-match kegger in the hopes of never having this sort of terrible match be witnessed again.
Next up: The oddly mutated Tzeentch Team of Bank Roll Fresh. Stay tuned Killer Bee fans!
- Neil
Sep. 19th, 2016
Vermin Taint The Hive
After a barrage of foul tactics, from greasing the gloves of the hard tackling Dwarves to bribing the League of Wizards to send their weakest apprentice to the game, the Vicious Vermin managed to eke out a victory against the Killer Bees, ending the game by marching the entire sewer full of vermin onto the field to prevent the Dwarves from hammering the Skaven Line in the final moments of the match.
The only bright side of the match for the Bees was the play of team captain B. Bobby Blair who was at his expected finest, dashing up the pitch for quick touchdowns to attempt to keep the Bees close enough to strike throughout the match.
It is with great excitement that the fans await the next match, to be played against the reclusive Khemri team. No scouting report on the team is available as the team has not answered requests for interviews, likely in a hope to surprise the Bees with sneaky tactics and dirty tricks! But fans can stand firm -- the Killer Bees will prevail!
Until next team, Bee fans!
- Neil
Sep. 13th, 2016
Bees sting Warriors with surprise draw!
The Woodland Warriors were obviously expecting your typical slow-moving dwarf team, an expectation that was destroyed in the first few moments of the match. The Killer Bees, lead by Star Player Grim Ironjaw, plowed down the field and scored the game's first touchdown. Only when disgruntled Warrior fans rioted until more time was put on the game clock did the Warriors finally manage to tie the game at the end of the first half.
After scoring a quick touchdown, the Warriors defense was once more pressed by the fast moving dwarf offense who, after a perfect pass by Beauregarde Rockgrips to Brick Goldenbeared cut the distance to the goal by half. A desperate leaping block by some nameless Wardancer and a few lucky ball bounces had the ball right at the feet of the Warriors, when their rookie thrower Hawkeye Longreach seemed to get confused, picked up the ball and hurled it back to Beuregarde Rockgrip. The surprise move had the soon-to-be-star runner so stunned he was unable to catch the ball, but soon recovered for the tying score!
This was followed by the second riot of the game, this due to lackluster bathroom conditions, and the game ended before any more serious action could take place.
The surprise tie left the Wood Elves demoralized and Killer Bee fans excited for their next game, which may be against the speedsters of the league, the Vicious Vermin.
Beauregard Rockgrip
